there are memories
gentle wakeful dreams
they fill my senses
with their peace.

I look behind me
quiet, water-stilled memories
I sigh and remember.

there was healing
on these island shores.
healing that was tied to her rocks
and her sands
and her morning-light.

My mind drifts forward,
past today with it's fears
and anxieties
and I search for another place,
another pleasant place
of lapping and lulling.

I pray,
I hope
sometimes
I even
wish

there is a home for me
perhaps
my heart is there now.

Single Tribute 

(to the King of Pop)

Wanna be startin’ something

Pretty young thing

Blood on the dance floor

Jam, Billie Jean

 

Girl you’re so together, Bad

Dirty Diana, The girl is mine

Girlfriend, In the closet, Butterflies

Remember the time

 

Who is it, Stranger in Moscow

Man in the mirror

Smooth criminal Thriller

Liberian Girl Leave me alone

 

They don’t care about us

She’s out of my life, HIStory

What more can I give

Just a little bit of you

 

I wanna rock with you

You rock my world

Rockin Robin, Ben, Beat it

Music and Me, Heal the world

 

Don’t stop til you get enough

I just can’t stop loving you

The way you make me feel

Another part of me

 

Black or White, Human Nature

Happy, We are the world

Off the wall, Scream, Cry

You can’t win, This time around

 

Give in to me, We’re almost there

You are not alone, Heaven can wait

Will you be there? Got to be there

I wanna be where you are

 

Ain’t no sunshine, Gone too soon

Farewell my summer love

With a child’s heart

One day in your life

One more chance

This took longer to write than I expected, but I managed it. The name of every single released (as listed by wikipedia)... all in one poem.

Rest in Peace, Michael.

I pray
the glimmer of light,
rays that are more than bright
may invade your night.

I pray
the peace of still waters
may flow 'round your troubled sea
so gentle, in hope abide.

The Falling Man

Why do you stay?

Is it easy that way?

I can see no path

Of least resistance

No simple strategy

In tragic choice

I’m wishing I was

The Falling Man

Motion suspended

Caught in the fall

By the lens of grace

And mercy.

That’s all.

I cannot dance

I will not sing

These hands do not

Paint anything

I shrink away

From recognition

Now the pain

Is my submission

The thing with feathers*

Has gone and I

Am in the cage

It left behind.

Stock photo

*salute to Emily Dickinson's "Hope is the thing with feathers..."

(love her!!)

Pride goes before a fall

A warning I have heard

Since childhood

Complacently sure

It would never be said

Of me.

It’s always someone else

Some poor, sad, stupid sod

Who finds himself

Deceived and far away

From God.

Not me.

 

Pride goes before a fall

They say

But what on earth

comes after it?

They haven’t sent

The ambulance

To the bottom of the cliff

This time, still

Blindly content

To continue the warning.

But I

have already

fallen.

Photos by Mar Boy

if these words could be smaller
shrinking from our eyes
I could lose myself and fade away
shrinking from our eyes.

Oh Lord
Oh Lord of the faithless
Oh Lord of the fearful, faithless, broken life
Oh Lord come show show and tell.
I am just a child
I am just a child in arms
I am just an abandoned child
Oh Lord come show and tell.
I can barely walk,
I can barely walk and speak,
I can barely understand
Oh Lord come show and tell.
We are little babes
We are helpless, naked babes
We are babes who long to see,
Oh Lord come show and tell.

the darkness now is calling me
the night that knows my name
dancing on the precipice
to feel the healing flame

I am lost in the history
of all that's said and done
my name no longer fits me
I'm not my father's son.

I struggle with the lyric
I wrestle with the song
the angst it does consume me
I belong to the shallow throng.

I don't know my identity
it died so long ago
before I even noticed me
there's nothing left to show.

searching through eternity
I long to find the way
words slips so silent through my mind
there's nothing left to say.

OK
Just what does this mean?
You dangle sanity
like a carrot
and
I'm expected to be grateful?
Months
months and dreary months
bloody months of silence.
when does this all end?
Oh to fly,
to soar,
some say on wings
but I think they lie.
So,
I say
I'm turning around,
circles upon circles,
tell me
please
am I am trying to run
chained to the one spot.
Whose spot is this?
Who decided it was mine?
Oh to fly,
to soar,
some say on wings
but I think they lie.
So, silent chain,
where does that leave me
now?

I am slowly turning.
the left..
the right
my mind rehearsing again
the answers of the past.
what little flicker,
this glimpse of light
playing with my darkness
forebodings' grimy tune
and I fear that I am turning..
or my fears are turning me.
This chain is old
it has held fast for years,
years where it never needed challenging
years where it was rattled and dragged.
years where no vessel would ever trust it's hold.
and I fear that I am turning
for my bearings have me lost.
and the anger of old
assails the flukes
and the slick,
the slick,
sticky mud,
the cold,
it's clammy greyness
no longer finds me fast.
Where are the white sands of hope?
Where is the courage to let fly to the gale
and be thrust along by the now.
I am turning,
longing for tomorrow to yell
'freedom' to yesterday,
and I don't think that I can hold on
to the safe harbour
and her shores

Oh God,
let us live
before we die

How quickly the clouds cleared.
One minute
drenched, cold and miserable
the next
a gentle hint of spring.

I do not understand.

How unruly our soul can be
as it lurches from 'up'
to 'down'.
There are no signposts,
no forewarning
just 'the now'...
and enough space to live
I apply all manner of incantations,
distractions
diversions
whilst remaining bogged in a deep black mud.
Much time is spent struggling through
the 'hows', the 'where's', the 'ifs' and the 'buts'.
The more I wrestle,
less answers I find
again I surrender
to 'not knowing".

Perhaps to taunt me
decidedly unannounced
the light trickled in.

And I am more confused.

This room is accusing me.
it's walls shout shame at my fears
I sit in
self imposed silence.
Questions,
endless searchings
the past
the future
but not now..
this time is dark and deathly.
there is no sand to write in.
I cannot forgive myself
for I am recoiling from
a broken and fading reflection.
I have finally found myself
lost.
this room
hurls insults
and I hurry to play it's melodies
like I always have.
Little note,
can you carry these brutal words?